Wholistic Decisionmaking
|
|
Is life demanding more from you these days?
Many people say life seems to be speeding up. How can we stay centered
and peaceful in our hearts, yet move along with life, even at its
increasing pace? How can we be empowered when we are reacting to life’s
events? How can we be sure we are making decisions that won’t add to
the stress, but will allow us to be in harmony with what is natural,
healthy and loving?
When we automatically react from habit, we may find that we have
not considered all of our options. That’s when we are burdened by
‘shoulda, coulda, woulda’ regrets. Even when you must respond quickly
in a circumstance, you can take control of your instinctual patterns of
reacting. In a few moments, you can access virtually all of your
decision-making capabilities so that you make wholistic, empowered
decisions. Life may not get easier, but it will be more fulfilling when
you become ‘cause’ rather than ‘effect’. To feel more in control of
your life, try this process for wholistic decision-making.
The most basic, automatic way that we react to life’s challenges
is through the function of the oldest part of our brain, what is called
the reptilian brain. It is the source of the urge to flee, fight, or
play dead. Its function is to ensure survival of the physical body and
it is most useful when we are in actual physical danger, like when an
accident is occurring. Thankfully, most of us have little need to rely
solely on this function on a daily basis. However, life is stressful,
so the reptilian brain can be inappropriately activated and influencing
our non-life-threatening decisions.
If you are not in physical danger, the first step in the wholistic
decision-making process is to ask, “Body, what is dangerous in this
moment? What do you want to do?” You don’t have change anything—just
become aware of your body’s response. Notice where any tension is
building up or being held in your body. Place your hand there and
breathe. You can do this without anyone noticing. If you are alone, you
might allow your body to move into whatever position it wants to. Just
go there with it and breathe. This is an opportunity to honor your
body’s amazing ability to survive under the most challenging
conditions. Thank your body and reassure it that it is safe.
Much in the same way that our reptilian brain reacts from habit or
programming, our emotions can cause us to respond automatically in ways
we learned early in life. As adults, especially in business, we are
always being told to keep our feelings in check, keep our emotions out
of our decisions. The fact remains that they are a functioning part of
human life and must be acknowledged if we are to become ‘cause’ and not
‘effect’. Examining our feelings can be helpful in making wholistic
decisions.
The second step in this process is to recognize the emotions that
come up around the decision you are making. You may find that your
feelings are connected to your physical reaction, or not. If possible,
close your eyes, then ask, “What is just one emotion I am feeling right
now?” Then address that emotion directly by asking “[Feeling], what do
you need?” Don’t change anything—just quietly notice the answer. All
emotions are valid and deserve to be acknowledged. Is this need
something that must be met by the decision you are making? Your
feelings may or may not be appropriate in your decision-making process.
By acknowledging your feelings, you can move past the automatic
responses. This can take the pressure of fulfilling your emotional
needs off the decision. When your most basic physical and emotional
needs are met, you can function from your higher levels of perception.
The human mind is a complex system that includes memory, reasoning
and ideas, among others. Just like the physical body and the emotions,
the mind is a tool for us to use in experiencing life and relating to
others. It is a tool that is being refined and honed our whole lives.
It is like a computer—some of the programs are hidden behind the scenes
to run the basic functions, some are used daily in our life tasks,
others we have acquired are not useful to us in particular, and some
may even be harmful. When assessing the role of the mind in our
wholistic decision-making process, it is helpful to remember that the
mind can only process information according to its programming. The
mind never really has the whole picture.
The next steps in this process address the complexities of the
different parts of the mind. First, ask, “Memory, what information do I
already have to help make the decision?” Make a list of pertinent
information that comes forward to your conscious mind. You will be
surprised at how one memory can lead to another when you are focusing
on a specific task. If memories cause your attention to shift back to
the physical body or emotional responses, go back to Steps 1 or 2, as
needed.
If you are trying to make a decision about something in which you
have little or no experience, you may need more input in order to make
a wise choice. Then you can ask, “Do I need to find out more about
this?” If you have enough information, you may be able to go forward
with what you do know.
The next part of this process utilizes our wonderful capability
for reasoning. Ask, “Logic, what makes sense?” This is the time to sort
your list of information from memory. Can you group certain bits of
information you have based on their relevance to your decision? Can you
rank them in importance to making the decision or its outcome? The
creative mind may be able to see new options through this step.
There is another part of the mind that allows us to live in
harmony with each other. It is the social mind, and is where we get our
sense of ethics from. When we are trying to make a decision that
benefits us without taking away from another, we can use this part of
the mind in our process. In his book, Whatever Happened to Justice
(Bluestocking Press, 1993), Richard J. Maybury presents two fundamental,
natural laws underlying all other laws created by mankind. They are:
1. Do all you have agreed to do; and
2. Do not encroach on other persons or their property.
When assessing the ethics of your decision, ask, “Social Mind, is this decision in agreement with the two natural laws?”
There is one more aspect of the mind that is meant to ensure our
survival: the ego. Its job is to move us on through life by giving us a
sense of self-importance. It is a common misperception that the ego is
who we really are. That is the ego just doing its job. We are so much
more than the physical body, feelings, thought processes and ego. The
sum of the parts does not even come close to being the Whole. How can
we sidestep the ego and make our final decision from the True Self?
Ask, “Heart (or Spirit), what would unconditional love do in this
situation?” Here is where you will find a decision that gives you peace
and the confidence to go forward.
As you practice this technique over time, you will notice how easy
it becomes to peel away the outer layers of your perception to reveal
your True Self and get to the heart of the matter. The questions to ask
in the Wholistic Decision-Making Process are:
1. Body, what is dangerous in this moment? What do you want to do?
2. [Feeling], what do you need?
3. Memory, what information do I already have? Do I need more information?
4. Logic, what makes sense?
5. Social Mind, is this decision in agreement with Maybury’s two natural laws?
6. Heart (or Spirit), what would unconditional love do?
This technique separates the components of humanness from your True
Beingness. It ultimately provides you with a heightened point of view
from which you can observe all of the influences and options and make a
decision that meets the needs of your whole self in harmony with Life.
About the Author
Patti Towhill is a spiritual counselor and energy medicine practitioner in Hope Valley, RI. Her website is www.pattitowhill.com or www.pattitowhill.byregion.net
She can be contacted at holistic-therapy@cox.net or (401) 539-3353.
Rating: Not yet rated