Healthy Relationships
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Life is about Relationship on every level of our being. It is the reason we chose to be human. Our understanding about relationships and relating, is evolving as the members of different societies, and groups of people within those societies evolve themselves. Rules of behavior and moral conduct have usually been the deciding factors in our upbringing forming the path we choose in our life. However there are other factors that must be considered if we are to understand why we are in some of the relationships we find ourselves in, and then be able to bring ourselves to choice about transforming those relationships.
The Soul is a major factor in forming relationships. Our Soul has one goal, to help us resolve conflictive patterns and bring us to the place of unconditional love and light. Our personal Soul works individually with us, it connects to a group Soul.and then a Planetary Soul. There is a group Soul for each society. The one goal of resolving patterns of conflict is the presiding element in personal relationships, group relationships and relationships between societies. Each level of Soul can be reached, and are constantly reached through introspection and meditation. If you have ever prayed for world peace you are sending your messages to the Planetary Soul who then communicates with your individual Soul. Your personal Soul then attracts situations through relationships that offer you the opportunity to achieve your own prayer. You may see results in the world, but you will surely see them reflected in your own life. The Soul has already evolved to a place that understands we are all one, its job is to help us understand as well.
The Soul must always honor the prime directive of free choice. The Soul must go through our personality and cannot override our decisions and desires. Our personality deals with day to day issues and sees only what is directly in front of it. The personality is only in touch with the big picture through the Higher Self and Soul, and often has a very narrow view of relationships. The personality thinks our relationships should last forever and is devastated when they don't. Why? Because the personality needs to feel safe and safety relates to holding onto what it knows very often negating free choice. The Soul on the other hand has a broader view and knows safety is not the issue. The Soul relishes change because change represents greater opportunities to meet its goal. Therefore, relationships are not always meant to last forever. Relationships build character and so relationships will come and go according to the mirrors we need to see in ourselves. The Soul draws on our vast experiences, finds the places that need culling and strengthening, and then brings us the perfect relationship to mirror the lesson that needs to be learned. Our job is to allow the change to take place and release the relationship when we feel complete. When we are unable to do this we enter into an unhealthy relationship which we will defend against all reason. The personality is now in charge.
The results of unhealthy relationships are evident. They are oppressive and foster deceit and denial. It is not until the pain becomes unbearable that the Soul is sought after once again. Our heart cries out for peace, for honesty, for respect, and for happiness. It is the longing of the heart that communicates and reaches our compassionate Soul immediately. With the Souls direction the first thing that usually happens is that we seek out a group Soul that reflects the integrity we are looking for. Within this group we are able to redefine ourselves. To heal wounds and transform energies that will lift us out of the fear-based world of the personality. We learn about self-love and self-compassion as we heal. But, most of all we learn about truth. We learn that truth is not something to be feared, we learn that truth sets us free. We learn that it is OK to say what we feel when we feel it even though it might feel unpleasant. This awareness unlocks the door to healthy relationships, healthy mirrors we look into, and that look back at us with compassion and love. Healthy relationships that allow us freedom while maintaining integrity.
A healthy relationship says, I am learning to define myself, "Thank you for allowing me to be myself while I learn to live my life in the best way possible for both of us."
Codependent relationships compromise integrity. A codependent relationship says, You define me, "I need you to tell me who I am." And, "I can never be or do enough" or "I have to control you to feel powerful" (humiliation is good for the soul). As long as these ideas are acting out, this relationship is not healthy.
Twelve Elements of Healthy Relationships: 1. Mutual Trust
2. Good Communication
3. To Feel Included
4. Fun, finding enjoyment in life
5. To be wanted, admired, and loved
6. Spiritual Commitment
7. A Sense of Giving
8. Intimacy
9. Growth, maturing elegantly in the process of relationship
10. Healing, Honesty Always
11. Freedom to Be
12. Honoring each other as a sacred treasure of God What we look for in another we long for in ourselves. The halls of mirrors change as we learn to accept ourselves. Self-Love is the final frontier in evolving healthy relationships.
About the Author
AlixSandra, Founder and Director of The Inner Focus School, is a dedicated to energy healing therapy and has spent the last 20 years refining her clairvoyant, channeling and teaching abilities. Her connection with the realms of divine love and ascended masters allows for spontaneous healings and enlightened information that uplift the consciousness of individuals and reveal soul lessons in a gentle, firm and empowering way.
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